Selfish, childish and foolish

Why is it selfish to want more?

You already have a roof over your head, you don't have to worry about your next meal, you have a family you love, great friends, you have a degree, and you have hobbies. So many people don't have these things you take for granted. You are already good enough at many things, for them to bring you joy. You should just be grateful that you've been given such a gift, so many people can't do one of the many things you can do. You shouldn't have the nerve to say you aren't good enough at something when so many people are bad at it!

But people have other needs than the very basic ones. And for some reason I should show my deep gratefulness, and how humble my privilege has made me, by denying myself anything more. Because it's selfish. Because everyone doesn't have what I have. But that means denying my humanity. It means denying myself growth and dreams. It means to stop moving forward, to stop making progress, to stop striving for greatness? And for who? No one! Denying yourself good things isn't going to help anyone in need. It's completely and solely for your own ego.

I'm so annoyed when people tell me I should be grateful I draw, or write so well. That it's selfish to say I'm not good enough. Because there are other people who don't draw or write as well as I do. But how is that selfish, when me, and those people have completely different personal standards?? When I say I'm not good enough, I obviously mean I'm not good enough (yet) for someone who is looking to write or draw for a living, I'm not saying it because I want people to convince me I'm good! It's not a cry for pity, it's a realistic and critical examination of my abilities and how much I still have to grow before I can reach my goals. I'm not comparing myself to other people but the standard I have to reach! Can't people understand the difference?

Denying yourself the wishes that are higher in the hierarchy of needs means denying your human nature, and denying the progress humanity could have through you. And for what? For your ego.

That's what I call selfish.


Why is it childish to make your own path?

Get a high education, get a job that pays well, get a man, get a house, get a kid or two or three. You shouldn't be reluctant to have so stressful job that you have no energy for your hobbies anymore, because that is completely normal. You should be serious about finding a man, otherwise, when you are older and wiser and realize you want a man, there won't be any good ones left. Of course you will want children, you silly. After all, all of these are things that everybody owes to society.

I have nothing in particular against the idea of having a high(er) education, a well paying job, and a family.

Except, that I prioritize other things. And, there are only so many hours in a day.

But why is it childish to want to create a life that suits you personally? Why am I childish for prioritizing things that make my life meaningful, like my hobbies? As if it's childish to want to be happy. As if adults aren't meant to be happy.

As if I'm not a productive member of society, if I don't make a lot of money and kids. Well, in the name of Art and Culture, I firmly believe that there are other things to contribute to society besides those two mentioned earlier.

Doing what you're "expected to do" only because most people do it, labeling things that cause some people harm as "normal" only because it doesn't cause harm to most, and believing it's the only way even when it does, because others did the same before you and didn't whine about it... expecting everyone to become adults the same way, to become the same kind of adults...

That's what I call childish.


Why is it foolish to try, against the odds?

You can't make a living out of writing or any kind of art. So few people are able to make that happen, there's no point even trying. You must get a sensible job that pays well, then you can have hobbies in your free time. But don't expect anything to come out of them. Because most people dream of a creative job. But that's just it. It's a dream! You should really get it together and stop investing so much time to things that don't pay. It's time to get serious.

Yeah, okay, but some people do make it. Some people can make a living out of their dream. Technically, I could be one of them.

But I'm not expecting to be. I'm doing what I do because it's personally fulfilling for me, in itself. I'm not dreaming about being a writer because I think it's somehow a glorious career! I'm dreaming about it, because I love writing, and I have so many stories to tell. But it's not the end of the world if I can't make a living out of it. As long as I can tell those stories.

And I am very serious, thank you very much. I'm serious about all those things that don't pay. I'm serious about the experience of reading a great book, I'm serious about every doodle that is making me draw better, and I'm serious about every ballet class where I can improve myself, even though I've always known I'm not cut out to be a dancer. I'm sorry they're not the same things you're serious about.

What baffles me is, that some people seem to think that your job should automatically be more important to you than your hobbies. That if you can't make a living out of something you should pretty much just throw it out of the window. You shouldn't even try to arrange your life the way that makes you able to do the things you truly want to do, the things that fill your life with meaning, even when they don't pay, because it's... objectively more sensible to have a lot of money than be happy?

You can't make compromises because more money is always more important than more time and energy? Just because you can't get everything you dream of, you should just... stop dreaming, and not try to even get a portion of it?

That's what I call foolish.


End of rant.